I was born in 1973. I'm a Generation Xer.
A google search for a definition resulted in this: "Generation X came of age in an era of two-income families, rising divorce rates and a faltering economy. Women were joining the workforce in large numbers, spawning an age of “latch-key” children. As a result, Generation X is independent, resourceful and self-sufficient. In the workplace, Generation X values freedom and responsibility. Many in this generation display a casual disdain for authority and structured work hours. They dislike being micro-managed and embrace a hands-off management philosophy".
I spent forever trying to find a reason based on these characteristics as to why Generation X took their time to decide on when they were going to start to try and have children. Results - nil. However I don't need to do the research, as all I need to do is look at myself and several friends who embarked on this journey in their late 20's and early 30's. The definition above is on par to what I truly am. Its characteristics resonate The IF Journey - independent, resourceful, sufficient. Basically, will do anything and everything and go through anything and everything and stick things in anything and eat and drink shit and will go anywhere and everywhere just to have a baby.
Alone in the wilderness sometimes it felt.
The Shooter husband was always there to hold my hand and dry my tears, but the Journey is one fought alone. Most of it in my head.
Was the career worth it? Was affording and buying a house worth it? Was the holiday overseas worth it? Was waiting for the right time to get married - worth it? If I started to try and have a baby at 21 when I first met Shooter, what would my life be like now? It's hard to answer these questions and I don't really want to because it's scary. All I can say is that those 6 years of infertility and trying, I won some fights and lost some too. Nothing was worth it, yet everything was worth it.
I have no regrets. Simple.
But if I had another chance at life, of travelling through time. What would I tell myself? Would I change anything and everything?
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When did you start trying to conceive? Do you have any regrets? Was it worth it?
Does your Generation have a different view on a starting time to try and conceive?
I was born in 77 and make the X-Gen cut off. I chose a career, had many chic only hols and didn't meet my partner till I was 25-26. We then dated, lived together and tried ttc in 2006, so 4-5yrs after meeting. We never got married and bought 2 properties and new car when I fell preg 2nd time. We just wanted to be financial. I started ttc #2 when my son was 20mths, he is now 3 and a half. So my only regret was not trying earlier, but then again I didn't want a 2 second age gap btw kids. So no regrets at all!! Ah, life isn't that bad afterall!!
ReplyDeleteHey Athena, good post, I was born in '83, I don't know why but I knew I wanted children in my early 20's, I think I was aware of the potential problems if I waited, and I grew up with my mum telling me that if I wanted children-to not wait until we were financially stable or house owners etc, my parents didn't wait and had us in their 20's and they still managed to eventually become house owners and give us as much as they could out of life.So I guess I took that on board, and had to convince DH that those things didn't matter too.
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful we started ttc when we did and found out about the problems when we did rather than in 10 years time. I don't know that my generation has a different view though, I think most still want to experience a full life before they have kids, and I think with the media and celebrities showing people having kids at an older age, there's a false sense of security out there that you can wait, and always turn to IVF, which as we know is bloody harder than it looks!
Ok I am a gen x cusper. I think that we started trying later because we were recession born kids and it took us so long to get a decent job that when we got it we wanted to work our way up. I travelled and had a long term partner and then we broke up at 26. All of a sudden I had to start again. Fortunately I met Chippie at the bar and even though he was younger than me we knew we wanted to get married. but by the time we dated, built our house, got engaged and got married the clock was ticking. I did say to him that i would prefer to have children than get married but he was all traditional. By the time we officially started I was 30 which I didn't think was too bad. Cue unxplained IF and now I am 33 in two months. Fk hey!! I wouldn't change anything though. I loved [insert bold and italics] life. I have had so much fun and I don't regret a thing. When babies come there will never be the grass is greener moments because I did it all and had a ball. Which is why this bit sucks because ... you know ... it hasn't fallen into place. But I still don't regret anything. Well maybe leaving my high powered corporate job for a sea change thinkning the babies would come and they haven't. That's about it though!!! Great post. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI didnt meet my DH until I was 35. I always thought I would have kids in my late 20's...i got engaged to a lovely man but it didnt work out. I struggled alot in my early 30's about not having kids. I never wanted a career but fell into it when my family dreams didnt happen. I travelled and loved it but would have traded it all for a family.
ReplyDeleteLuckily to say I have a DD and just confirmed we have an IVF bub on the way so i still get to live the dream....just alot older and hopefully wiser.
Hi your blog is beautiful! I am currently pregnant with #4, we found out the day of our first ivf treatment that we were already pregnant. My ttc journey was 18 months, not as tough as yours but I would never want to go through that again. Looking forward to stalking your blog :)
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