Friday, January 20, 2012

Kindred Spirits

As the fireworks drizzled to an airy smoke and the hung-over nursed their weary heads, the year 2008 was born. The year that my expectations of assisted conception came to a formidable and overwhelming end.

Empty wallets with nothing to show for it.

No baby to cuddle and love.

2008 was the beginning of a new adventure. I had not given up on trying to conceive. Pfft! Why would I since I was hard at it for 5 years at this point? What was another 5 more? Although I was heading towards the fucked up age of 35, when supposedly my fertility would come crashing down to A Few Good Eggs rather than an Easter Parade. 2008's resolutions included the gym, Chinese herbs, a positive attitude, and the death to bitterness and jealousy.

The basket of eggs would be replaced with HOPE.

In 2008 I accomplished all my resolutions and by New Years Eve, the magical 2 lines presented themselves on a pee stick. Albeit rewind the time to mid-year as I cried rivers over a miscarriage. Although even that disastrous experience gave me a sprinkle of faith.

This post isn't about that journey. Most of you already know it. No, the beginning of 2008 was an invitation to a relatives second child, 1st birthday party.

I didn't attend the party.

As much as my resolutions were in my head, they were still fresh. My heart was tired and my soul haggard. 5 years of infertility forced me into a black hole. As much as I felt and hoped that I would't be there for long, I enjoyed it - the darkness and serenity. No kids birthday party was going to shake that reverie away from me. I had already endured the first child's birthday's and Christening, and all the other celebrations that family and friends gather around for. I was always the only one amongst their fruitful and abundant fertile friends with an empty womb, empty arms and an empty heart.

I wasn't ready and my bullshit smiles were becoming redundant.

Fast forward to Present Day, this Sunday this child will be turning 5 years old.

I will be attending the party.

I will be attending the party with my husband.

I will be attending the party with my son.

I will walk amongst the people in the crowd with a twinkle in my step.

I will hold my beverage up high and wish the little girl a lifetime of happiness.

I will watch my son play with the other children; full of joy and spirit.

I will walk up to my husband and wrap my arms around his waist and immerse myself in a conversation about toilet training mishaps and textures of poo. I will pretend to give a shit and debate the benefits of whether my child will be attending a public or private school.

I will then go to the privacy of the toilet and cry. Cry of happiness that finally I can enjoy a kids birthday party without scorn and venom plastered all over my face nor distress for my predicament.

I will then go home, put up my feet and remember that it was not about being associated or accepted with a certain crowd but that I now was a proud member of a primordial kinship.

Kindred Spirits of Motherhood.

Thursday, January 12, 2012


I don't know about you, but these rare Summer days are making me want to sit back with a classic book and indulge my sweet tooth whilst I feel my arse get bigger. I'm not talking about sweaty armpits, "I. Want. To. Die. In. A. Pool" stinky heat but that laid back variety as I observe The Boy play with his new Christmas present Nerf water gun aiming for Shooters balls. I'm over this wind "knock my toupee off" campaign that this weather has brought to our beautiful beachy shores of Aystraya and What. The. Fuck is it with this chill? Seriously, I had to walk out the door the other day with my hoodie on (because I'm old and my ears get cold)

The sweet I'm talking about is Mama Jenny's evil nemesis The Galaktoboureko. The only dish she cannot master. It's not extremely difficult to cook, but one that is a challenge and it could go in the toilet for the frogs to eat or fed to my Kangaroo pets in my backyard if it fails miserably.

Galaktoboureko (γαλακτομπούρεκο) is a Greek dessert of semolina-based custard in filo pastry. It may be made in a pan, with filo pastry layered on top and underneath, or rolled into individual servings. It is coated with a sweet syrup.

Its name is derived from the words gala (γάλα; milk in Greek) and bourek (Turkish word burek: pie or pastry). ~ Wikipedia.


1 Packet Filo Pastry
250g butter – 50g for the cream and the rest for the filo
1 litre fresh milk
2/3 cup fine semolina
1/3 cup thick semolina
Grated rind from 2 lemons or oranges
4 eggs
2 vanilla essence
½ teaspoonful grated cinnamon

For the Syrup

2 cups water
3 ½ cups sugar
3 sticks of cinnamon
3 slices lemon peel or oranges
1 tablespoonful syrup
15 cloves plus some extra for the filo


Remove the filo from the fridge and let it come to room temperature.
Simmer the milk in a large pan with the sugar and the semolina, stirring continuously until the mixture starts to thicken.
Lower the temperature and add the eggs one at a time whilst stirring vigorously.
Allow the mixture to thicken whilst stirring continuously.
Add the remaining ingredients for the cream.
Set the cream aside, covering it with cling film which is in contact with the cream so as that it doesn’t form a crust.
Melt the butter.
Spread half of the filo on the bottom of a large round oven dish and spread melted butter on it.

Spread the cream on top of the filo.
Place the remaining filo, spread with melted butter, on top of the cream.
Cut round the edge of the oven dish to remove the extra filo.
Fold the filo over the edge of the oven dish.
Butter the surface.
With a sharp knife, score the top of the filo diagonally into portion sizes. In the centre of each portion place a clove.
Bake the galaktoboureko in a preheated moderate oven at 180 degress for up to 45 minutes or until it has a golden colour.
Allow it to cool and cut it where it has been scored, whilst it is still in the oven dish.

Preparation of Syrup

Put the water and sugar in a large pan.
Add the rest of the ingredients for the syrup and boil gently for 20 minutes.
Pour the syrup on top of the galaktoboureko, allowing it to be absorbed. Better to do this after the galaktoboureko is completely cool.
When serving, sprinkle some ground cinnamon on top of each portion (optional).

I also like to follow up my taste buds with this:

Greek Frappe

“He who indulges - bulges”

~ Anonymous

Welcome 2012! I promise to be a good girl and eat healthy food!!

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