Thursday, January 27, 2011

Children Tend To Be Sticky

"There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million".
~ Walt Streightiff ~

This post is dedicated to my son, my dove, my Callum.

You’re a regular chatterbox – mum, ma, dad, duck, jet, woof, copta (helicopter), gonks (sock), shit, poo, kaka, broombroom, car, twain (train), door, twee (tree), don’t touch, nana, nouna (godmother in Greek) yaya (nana in Greek), pa (grandfather), lilo (pa’s dog), chisha (wee in Greek), bwoom (broom), shoes, bye bye, and coutless more in your own classic language. Your favourite is “Nah” with a wave of the hand. I'm surprised you haven't said the 'F' word yet.
You love the outdoors. As soon as we say the word, you’re picking up your shoes pointing at the door.

You’ve been walking for a while now, but it won’t be long when you are running and mum running after you.

You touch everything you’re not supposed too and are in love with the remote control.

You take a 3 hour nap after lunch. Mum catches up on the housework, blogging and um err exercising.

You point at everything! All the pictures on your bed room wall, everything outside. You try to say and learn all the words.

Bop, bop, bop to all the music. Commercials are your favourite.

Eats everything! Even curries and chillies, olives and fetta cheese. You prefer to eat all-by-yourself, but it all ends up on the floor and it gets all messy.

Has 12 teeth with 4 more coming through.

Kisses randomly and grabs my hand and squeezes it tight into a hug. But when mum says “makia makia” (kiss me in Greek) you say “Nah” and laugh.

You’re in the big bath now and it’s the best part of your day. You scream and holler when I take you out.

You like to screech so you can hear your own voice.

You are shit-scared of the vacuum cleaner!

You like to spin around and around. Apparently this is called “baby drugs”.

Love the feeling of your little tooth brush but would prefer to suck at it rather than brush.

Can turn the pages of a book but would prefer to play with your broom broom (typical boy).

Starting to climb on all the furniture and dance on the coffee table.

Can throw the ball but can’t catch it.. yet.

Understands and responds to directions. Soon you will be making mum her morning coffee.

Pretends that everything is a telephone.... chats to the whole world.... about your world.

Likes to help mum "clean".

Has started to chuck temper tantrums. Thank God dad does the shopping......

You went to the beach for the first time... and you LOVED IT!

My little man, it's been a pleasure.

Love you, mum xox

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I Would Like To Thank God, My Mum, My Agent and Beckie

I won an award. How cool is that? Thank you Beckie from Beckie's Infertility Journey!

And not just any award, but a "Versatile Blogger" award. Versatile - an awesome word. V.E.R.S.A.T.I.L.E. which means accomplished, multifaceted, resourceful, functional, adaptable, dexterous, ingenious.

I first discovered Beckie's Blog through another blogger friend. I found that her journey echoed mine when I was going through infertility. I love the way she writes her posts - with such sincerity, truth and an everlasting hope. I wish Beckie all the best with her journey and I know that one day she will be a beautiful mother.

Here's how this award works:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Make sure you contact these bloggers to let them know about the award.

7 things about me:

1. I bite my nails. They look terrible.
2. My favourite books are anything to do with serial killers and wizards.
3. My favourite TV show is Battlestar Galactica - the new version. I watched this show relentlessly during my IF Journey.
4. I used to play Netball and be in the Centre position. I was the shortest player but the fastest. I miss it.
5. I have 2 best friends both named Dimitra and both are Aquarius.
6. I met my husband through a mutual friend who both frequented a death metal pub.
7. I believe in the supernatural.

So now I give these wonderful bloggers this award. 15 is a hard number to reach. Some of these bloggers have also recently received this award, but I would like to acknowledge them as well. The others are new followers who made the effort to visit my blog but to also comment. Thank you all for your support.

My Path to Insanity and Beyond (My TTC Journey)
Making Baby Giraffes
Maybe Baby... (or Maybe the Loony Bin?)
Riding the IVF Roller Coaster
Eat Love Hope
A Half Baked Life
Good Golly Miss Holly
Mommy Wants Vodka
The Love Story of a Belladonna
Party of Five
Bio Girl
Welcome To My Freak Show
As Good As It Gets


Monday, January 24, 2011

Short and Sweet

My home computer is dead.

As I guzzle my cappuccino during morning tea at work, I will steal some time to write this:

It's ICLW! Thank you all for stopping by and leaving me comments. I appreciate you kind words and hugs. I need to do some major catching up on my commenting, and will do it when I get a proper break and some geek fixes my 'puter.

I want to also shout out a HUGE thank you to JeCaThRe from Bread, Wine, Salt who recently hosted a Virtual Baby Shower for Justine at A Half Baked Life. Due to problems with my computer I wasn't able to blog my gift to Justine so JeCaThRe hosted it for me. You can view my gift of Greek Honey Cookies here.


Wednesday, 26th January.

Want to know what Australia Day is? Click on me.

Hooroo. Catch you on the flip side.

Monday, January 17, 2011

How Precious Life Is

I read this amazing post today from Good Golly Miss Holly. She has inspired me to not take life for granted and truly enjoy, believe and be conscious by the great things I already have in my life. I dwell on the negatives way too often. Some things I have absolutely no control over.

Ke Sera Sera.

The devastation in Queensland with the flash floods left me numb. I am protected by living in my humble abode in Sydney with only my TV to relay the news of what has occurred. I will never comprehend how it feels to have your home brutalised and destroyed. Your possessions tossed like rag dolls and mushed in a pile of muggy muddy shit. I never want to feel the grief of an untimely death of a loved one. Someone precious in my life.

The depredation of this beautiful state has contrived me to ponder an issue that has been disco-dancing in my head for an enduring time. An issue so infinitesimal to what has occurred in Queensland but a connection nonetheless. I've been meaning to write a post about One Child Families. A situation more than likely to be my fate as a mother. I have extensively laboured over this issue. Will Callum be an only child? How will this affect his life? 3 factors rule this decision. Yes it is a decision - although I think I still have a functioning reproductive system, these factors still contribute to the finite conclusion. Financial, Physical and Mental.

Financial - Shooter and I are not 'well off'. I work part time and contribute to the household income. A job I enjoy and I am proud to have. Adding a second child will mean the possibility of not having a second income or a whole lot of added pressure to my ageing mother who already looks after Callum on the days I work. Physically I'm getting older, turning 38 soon. This only signifies the impending doom of old decrepit woman sitting on a porch chain smoking  decline of my reproductive system and the high risk of a child with disabilities being conceived. As well as my war against fat, diabetes and the overall dissolution of my health. Ultimately, "mental" has several hands. I aint no looney (some friends and family may disagree) but there's No. Fucking. Way that I have the strength to tackle IF again. I duly crown those mighty women who battle secondary infertility. One I've met recently, her blog - InfertiliTEE - you are a LEGEND darling and bloggers she is in need of some hugs today. I will not, I can not, I shall not go down that path again. My journey ended with Callum. And fuck off to the ones who might think about commenting that the second one might come easier. There is no truth to that old-wives tale, just ignorance and wishful thinking.

The connection you ask? As Shooter and I are lowered into the ground, a Greek poem by Homer is read and bagpipes playing in the background of a quaint little church. Our dear son farewells us - who will be there for him? There have been no siblings to play with him, no brother to share first base stories with, no little sister to rescue from her first boyfriend. Some distant cousins who don't give a flying fuck maybe. A community comes together to help each other in need and to lift each others human spirit and then they go home. But "a family is the most important thing in the world", Princess Diana once said.

Hope comes in various manifestations.

I hope Callum understands why his god-sister is the closest to a sibling he ever had. I hope he acknowledges my struggles and frustrations with this selfish controversy. I hope he finds someone who loves him completely, passionately and deservedly. Fundamentally, I hope he strengthens our family.

I will not let this issue consume me. I will be grateful that I at least have a child. I will be guiless in the beauty and achievements I have. I will love unconditionally. I know how precious life is and will never denounce it.

What will be will be.


What are your thoughts on One Child Families?

Have you been in this situation?


To donate to the Queensland Flood Relief Appeal - Click here

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fat Arse Be Gone - Part 1

Welcome to the first post of ME and the battle of all battles to rid the evil monster named FAT.

Me who is trying to lose weight, get exercising, get healthy and live.

Live Long and Prosper.

The new journey begins. Wish me luck. Eat a big juicy dripping fat disgusting delicious burger for me, please...

Current fat arse weight: 80kgs (176 lbs)
Weight Loss Goal: 60kgs (132 lbs)

A few years ago, about 3 years into my IF Journey, I joined Sureslim. It was likely that being overweight contributed to my infertility thus shedding some kilos was a primary goal. I lost 12kgs in a space of 2.5 months and squeezed into a Size 10 (Aust. figures) I was so proud of myself and one might say, I looked purdy. And purdy I was at one of the relo's 3rd kids Christenings. At least I felt good and was smug enough to take on the many comments of being child-less.

Fast forward - the weight is back on, more fast and furious than that ugly bold actor Vin Diesel. I will be following Sureslim's protocol again, which is based on a lifestyle healthy eating plan. A high protein, low carb diet. Additionally, taking into consideration that I may have developed diabetes (conclusive results coming soon to a town near you) I will also be following Diabetes Australia's recommendation to a healthy lifestyle.

Oh yes and about 10-15 minutes of daily exercises. This will consist of walking, playing with the boy, and backyard weights. Most of the exercise routines have been adapted from the time I slogged it out at the gym, a year before I got pregnant.

Become a follower and have a gander at my trials and tribulations of regular weigh-ins, munching menu's and jiggle jiggle bum exercises. Please stand on the sidelines and wave your flags of support or better still, if you also need to bitch slap the FAT - join me.


Today - 2 hour glucose diabetes test.
Rocked up to the clinic fasting from food. First blood test felt like a sting. Then I drank the shit, I don't understand how some people think this shit tastes o.k. It's not yummy. It's shite! One hour later, woken up by the pathologist as I snuggled under a blanket feeling sorry for myself for putting myself in this position. Blood test 2 - this one hurt a little. Back to the freezing air conditioned room. Trying to sleep. Negative thoughts running through my head. What's new? Trying to day dream. Set goals in my diary. Time went fast this past hour. Third blood test. Ouch fucking ouch fuck ya. It's over. Results pending........

I think I deserve a raspberry cream almond cake.

I'll start the diet tomorrow. Promise

Monday, January 10, 2011

Generation X

1965 - 1979

I was born in 1973. I'm a Generation Xer.

A google search for a definition resulted in this: "Generation X came of age in an era of two-income families, rising divorce rates and a faltering economy. Women were joining the workforce in large numbers, spawning an age of “latch-key” children. As a result, Generation X is independent, resourceful and self-sufficient. In the workplace, Generation X values freedom and responsibility. Many in this generation display a casual disdain for authority and structured work hours. They dislike being micro-managed and embrace a hands-off management philosophy".

I spent forever trying to find a reason based on these characteristics as to why Generation X took their time to decide on when they were going to start to try and have children. Results - nil. However I don't need to do the research, as all I need to do is look at myself and several friends who embarked on this journey in their late 20's and early 30's. The definition above is on par to what I truly am. Its characteristics resonate The IF Journey - independent, resourceful, sufficient. Basically, will do anything and everything and go through anything and everything and stick things in anything and eat and drink shit and will go anywhere and everywhere just to have a baby.

Alone in the wilderness sometimes it felt.

The Shooter husband was always there to hold my hand and dry my tears, but the Journey is one fought alone. Most of it in my head.

Was the career worth it? Was affording and buying a house worth it? Was the holiday overseas worth it? Was waiting for the right time to get married - worth it? If I started to try and have a baby at 21 when I first met Shooter, what would my life be like now? It's hard to answer these questions and I don't really want to because it's scary. All I can say is that those 6 years of infertility and trying, I won some fights and lost some too. Nothing was worth it, yet everything was worth it.

I have no regrets. Simple.

But if I had another chance at life, of travelling through time. What would I tell myself? Would I change anything and everything?


When did you start trying to conceive? Do you have any regrets? Was it worth it?

Does your Generation have a different view on a starting time to try and conceive?

Thursday, January 6, 2011


According to my Body Mass Index, I am obese.


This is very hard for me to comprehend. It didn't say 'overweight' or thosedeliciouspuddingscakeschocolates youhad overchristmas added a few kilos to your arse..... takes deep breath. No, I AM obese.

I hate myself.

I am 80kg (176 lbs) and for my age (turning 38) and my wee little height (157cm, 5'2) I should weight around the 50-60kg mark. I have tuck shop arms. I have cellulite that start on my bum and leads down to my thighs. I have 2 chins. My face skin looks crinkly; a haggard tired looking woman. I need wheel barrels to lift up my boobs - front and on my back. I jsut typede this sentencen wlrondg because my fingers are trooo fat and hit two buttontons at once. I looked into the long mirror this morning and saw a woman I did not want to see.

No more excuses Athena, it's time to get off your fat lazy arse and start losing weight. Look at your son. Will you be around for him if you are buried 6 feet under deep in the ground, dead because of a heart attack?

I can't blame pregnancy for it. 82kg was the heaviest I weighed at pregnancy and quickly lost 12kgs after Callum was born. I had 6 months of maternity leave and all I did was sit around, watch TV and eat crap whilst looking after my son. The weight slowly crept up on me. Slowly, like a thief in the night. A biscuit here, a burger there. Procrastination - such a long big word, but it's evil I tells ya, EVIL.

I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy. The trifecta diagnosed me with this: older age, overweight and genetic. Type 2 diabetes would be a definite if I continue with this lifestyle. Heart attacks run in my family. My dad had triple by-pass surgery because of a stroke. I'm already feeling breathless just typing this.

I know how to eat healthy. I cook fresh food almost everyday. I space out my meals and I drink water like a fountain. It's when I get bored that does it. Sitting around doing fuck all. Especially during winter. Callum has only now started to become very active. Like VERY active. Before he would roll around on the mat in front of me, exploring his toys and chewing on coffee table legs. Meanwhile I'm sitting on the lounge, watching TV, munching on chips. Munch munch munch munch munch. Constantly munching on something.


It's summer here in Australia. I live in a suburb full of parks, ponds and bike tracks. Callum loves the outdoors. And now that he is near to running, it's time for some real fun and play.

Seriously love, get your shit together fatso. Go to that shed, dust off the good old BMX and start peddling. Start riding for better health and a better life.

I couldn't give a fuck about being a yummy mummy. I just want to be alive for my son. Wish me luck (oh and any tasty recipes you could recommend!)